Sunday, January 11, 2015

My Heart Just Knew...



I wrote this the evening of August 30, 2013 after my second time doing a worship service in the Manti Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. My Mom and Dad were married in that Temple on April 20, 1973. A "sealing room" is where a couple can be "sealed" as man and wife even after death and throughout eternity.

 June 2, 2012

Bridgette Fewox and I have grown a lot together over the years. We became close friends while I was going to the U. She helped me move to Texas and we remained best friends for several years until I invested in a relationship she did not approve of. We picked up our friendship again, years later, while she was going to school back in her home state. I was her primary social outlet at the time.

Late winter 2012 we confided in each other that we had decided (without the other knowing) to prepare to make temple covenants sometime in the upcoming months. This is a rite of passage for people of our faith that adds a stronger dimension and level of commitment to our relationship with God. I made those covenants on March 17, 2012 in the Provo Utah Temple.

June 2, 2012 found me in the most elegant and enchanting room I’d ever seen. Bridgette sat in the row in front of me with her parents on either side. I was among her closest friends as she took that spiritual step, that rite of passage. We were there to support her and experience the beauty of The House of the Lord situated on a hill in the tiny farm town of Manti, Utah.

My head swam, my eyes were wide, I looked around and tried to take everything in. I breathed in the beauty that surrounded me and drank deeply of the spirit that was present. The surroundings were larger than life but so was the intense feeling of holiness. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was present in that room. I’d been told about the peace in the Temple. At that point I’d attended several, but hadn’t yet experienced those feelings on such a giant scale that existed within the sacred walls of the Manti Temple. I sat in awe at the grandeur of this holy edifice built by early settlers to glorify their God.

Minutes later I was sitting in one of the holiest areas in the Temple, the Celestial Room. I wanted to see everything but didn’t dare for fear of doing something completely wrong despite the feeling of love and acceptance from the workers and patrons. I sat on a little couch and felt stir crazy. A small room to my left tormented my peripheral vision. Something deep inside of me wanted to run over and look in that tiny room. Two thick red velvet ropes blocked the open doorway. I was in God’s house. This was Bridgette’s special day and I didn’t want to be disruptive by snooping around. I sat with my arms folded and tried to close my eyes in prayer but the tiny blue room kept calling to me.

I got a little relief when a few from our party got up to walk around. I took the liberty to follow suit but still got a sense of “off limits” from the corner that taunted me. Typical me, I asked one of the workers if I could look around, hoping for license to wander wherever I felt inclined. She granted limited liberty so I began to snoop. Before I made it to “my” corner my party started to leave. I dutifully turned to follow when I had the thought “just turn around and go look at it.” I made a cautious 180 and walked toward the room. A kind gentleman with white hair looked at me curiously. I asked “May I please just go look in that room for a minute?”. He kindly replied, “Come with me. I’ll show it to you.” We walked over and I peered in to witness the most beautiful delicate room I’d ever seen in my life. My eyes got teary as I experienced an intense feeling of love.  The ceiling was dome shaped with intricate ivory, soft blue and silver designs. There were a few soft chairs and on my right, an altar in a small alcove next to a large mirror. I all but saw a glow of a 6’0 dark haired man standing at the altar and believed it might be Daddy. The white haired gentleman stood by me for a short time while I took in the beauty of the room. “Spectacular isn’t it? This is one of the only rooms in the Temple that still has the original woodwork and paint.” I embraced the feeling and tried to make sense out of what was so special about this room. “Is this a sealing room?” “Yes, one of them.” I wanted to believe that this was the spot my parents gave their eternal vows and became man and wife, but because the room was so small I doubted it. “Is this the only blue sealing room?” “No, there are others here in different areas.” Mom and Daddy got married a blue room in that Temple. I resigned myself to the fact that this almost dollhouse of a room was lovely and carried a powerful spirit but was not where my parents got married.  I was satisfied to take the feeling of the spirit for what it was worth, enjoy the peace and love and be happy that I felt Daddy close. At least I was in the building he married Mom in and was sending him my thoughts and love. I know he can be with me anywhere and decided to be happy with my experience.

My heart was full. Later that night I called Mom to give her a report and gush about my incredible day. I told her it was wonderful and was about to tell her my experience with the tiny room when I interrupted myself. “Mom, what room were you and Daddy married in? I really wanted to see it but there were a lot of weddings going on so I only saw a couple sealing rooms.” “It was the small blue room, just off the Celestial Room”. My eyes flooded with tears. “There’s no way! That room is too small!” “Allicia, there weren’t very many people who were able to make it to my wedding. It was a small group.” After a short recovery time I shared with her how my spirit recognized the corner of the Temple where my family began. This experience is one of my greatest treasures.

I looked back on that day and have shared it with others over the past couple years. From that day on I looked forward to returning to the Celestial Room in the Manti Temple so I could see the room again and experience it for what it really is to me.

August 30, 2013 found me sitting next to two close friends in one of the most elegant and enchanting rooms I’d ever seen. Our eyes were wide as we looked around to take everything in. We breathed in the beauty that surrounded us and drank deeply of the spirit that was present. The surroundings were larger than life but so was the intense feeling of holiness.

Minutes later I was on the threshold behind red velvet ropes as I peered knowingly into the tiny room where my family began. Tears still fill my eyes as I write about the feeling of intense love. I could all but see the glow of a handsome 6’0 man with dark hair dressed in white standing in the spot where he pledged his love and soul for all eternity to his sweetheart. My friends soon joined me and showed reverence for the corner of the temple that was so sacred to me.

A few minutes later we walked around and got a tour of other rooms in the area. We were treated like princesses. I didn’t want to leave but didn’t want to be selfish with their time either. This was already turning into an all day trip. They went over and sat down on some chairs to pray. I took the opportunity to walk back to my favorite spot. I shared my story with one of the temple workers who warmly thanked me for sharing and granted me solitude to mourn and celebrate the life of my father.

I sensed Daddy at the altar again and then I felt him standing on my right. I stood there, trying not to “force” a spiritual experience but allowed my mind to be open and studied thoughts as they came. Like his gravesite in Arlington, this is a place of significance I can visit to remember him. I felt the warmth of his spirit and a sense of reconnection. Unlike many of my experiences where I go by faith, intuition and sometimes guessing, this tiny room in the middle of a farming town in the middle of nowhere Utah was in actuality the exact spot where my Dad made the biggest commitment of his life. As a result I am able to stand where he stood years ago in a place where the boundaries of Heaven and Earth seem to blend and become the same sphere.


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